Our colleague Anne Collier from NetFamilyNews made us aware of an email that Anthony Orsini, a middle school principal from New Jersey, sent to parents a couple of weeks ago imploring them to prohibit their children from participating in social networking sites. As reported on CBS and elsewhere, the letter Orsini sent to parents included the following text:
“Please do the following: sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any social networking site. Today! … There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! Let me repeat that – there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! None.”
Sameer and I have been exploring adolescent social networking for almost 5 years and even though we see the worst of the worst in terms of behaviors, we also agree that such examples represent the exception, not the rule. In general, we believe the benefits of social networking outweigh the negatives and potential risks, if youth learn to use the sites responsibly. It is certainly a very good idea for parents to talk to their kids about what they are doing online, though simply banning access to technology, without just cause, is a big mistake. For one thing, it is literally impossible for parents to completely prevent their children from participating in social networking. If they really want to be on social networking sites, they will find a way to get on: they will go to a friend’s house or log on at the library or pursue underground social networking sites that are less well known or regulated.
It is a much better strategy for parents to carefully express their concerns about these environments and teach youth how to be responsible online. Tell them that it isn’t a good idea to accept as friends those who they do not know and trust in real life. Demonstrate the dangers of posting too much personal information online. Show them how to use the privacy settings. Provide them with examples from the media where teens have gotten into trouble for misusing social networks. Our research suggests that teens are listening and improving social networking practices! Print this out and give it to them. Odds are they will be just fine if they abide by these commonsense guidelines.
Then, have your kids help you set up a Facebook page and tell them that they need to be your friend. That way you can see everything they are doing on the site and you can remind them about what you talked about if they slip up. And you can send them gifts on Farmville.
It is very important that parents and others work to instill responsible practices in youth at a relatively early age – when they will still listen. Banning access is a short-term solution that will likely create additional problems in the future when teens eventually do go online and don’t have the skills necessary to responsibly navigate the World Wide Web.
By the way, as Anne points out on her blog, the same week that the New Jersey principal distributed the email encouraging parents to ban participation in Facebook, the Boston Globe reported that Obama’s pick for Teacher of the Year regularly uses Facebook in her classes. As you know, we have discussed the issue of teachers interacting with teens online in multiple posts on this blog. While I am not sure that we have come to any definitive conclusion, it is interesting to see examples from both sides of the issue come up in the news recently. What do you think: prohibit or promote the use of online social networking?
Both you and Anne are right on here. Thanks for responding to this!
Both you and Anne are right on here. Thanks for responding to this!
Banning kids from social networking sites is akin to teaching kids only about abstinence and nothing about birth control and making the right choices even when its hard;it works in a perfect fantasy world but not in real life. It is a parents responsibility, (one of hundreds), to teach their children the responsible way to use social networking sites and how to avoid the pitfalls. If you choose to believe you can forever keep your kids off of these mega popular sites, you are seriously kidding yourself. Better to educate them on proper usage and SUPERVISE your children while using them. I totally agree with your point of view.
I believe that the meaning of "freedom of speech" is making many end up misguided. So what's next? A bill to have anyone get the right to spread lies of other people's parents or accuse somebody of a crime which they never did just because it should be free speech? The "free speech" already turned on religion, however despite anybody's claims just insult or doing anything offencible is just inmature and useless. What's the gain of that? Just the "lulz" which the "free speech" can provide? Can you tell is "free speech" saying your best friend got a baby with a prostitute just because you think he sucks? Or lie that a friend of yours is having a deadly sickness? Well, I see the definition of "free speech" will keep more and stupid till it mess anyone's real life as well. Alright, let's make fun of our neighboor because is "free speech" too. However, "free speech" is something which everybody has. And in matter of fact, censure can be also a way of "free speech". After all, do you have no right of saying that nobody should publish lies about your personal life? If you do that, then you're censoring the attacker. If the attacker is doing that for his "free speech", then if you censure it, what you doing would not censoring "free speech"? Anyways, that whole mess is likelly a war of "free speech" because BOTH sides wants to say: "I love to mock Muslim" and "I hate having my religion mocked." Okay, the "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day" already came to deviantart as well, despite the guidelines says it is forbid making any type of hate propaganda toward religion. "Free speech" is valid for anyone, you have the right to talk about what you like and deslike. But not everyone will agree after all. If you say "I don't support preggy porn" with your opinion about it, then a lot of fools will act like you're forbidding and talk like they want to punch you in the face. "Free speech" doens't really work well, because wanting or not you who want to deffend "free speech" will likelly end up censoring it somehow.
America needs to follow the lead of many other countries and ban ALL 'social networking' sites. They have spiraled out of control and have abused our 'free speech' amendment. They are a waste of time and cause much more harm than good, and not speaking only in the extreme sense. As simple as a friend sharing a group photo without the other's consent is not tolerable. Doubters- would it be okay if I took your picture on my camera phone as your walking into the grocery store and mailed it in to the local paper with a birthday caption, most likely it's not your birthday because I don't even know you! Seems harmless enough, right? Would it be ok of you stuffing your mouth with nuggets at your local McD's? Standing in line for a restroom? What's funny to some is horrifying to others. There are 2 sides to every photo and IM. How do we start a petition?
America needs to follow the lead of many other countries and ban ALL 'social networking' sites. They have spiraled out of control and have abused our 'free speech' amendment. They are a waste of time and cause much more harm than good, and not speaking only in the extreme sense. As simple as a friend sharing a group photo without the other's consent is not tolerable. Doubters- would it be okay if I took your picture on my camera phone as your walking into the grocery store and mailed it in to the local paper with a birthday caption, most likely it's not your birthday because I don't even know you! Seems harmless enough, right? Would it be ok of you stuffing your mouth with nuggets at your local McD's? Standing in line for a restroom? What's funny to some is horrifying to others. There are 2 sides to every photo and IM. How do we start a petition?
The way I feel about Face book is that it can be a very safe and fun social network. But it can also be a weapon which can cause someone pain and embarrassment. Post, pictures, followed along by videos and rules of the page which can mean the page open to everyone so all can see. Keeping in touch with family or friends and sometimes help finding family or friends is what some people use facebook for. Others use it to be nosey, and in others business if provided for everyone to see. Followed by the ones with evil minds those post things about people or create a page about types and categorize people which is something I've experienced done before. I ask myself why people do things like that. I feel they are mean spirited and want to cause others pain along with they have entirely too much time on their hands. Does any one think things will change or get better?
Two Estero teenagers are getting sentenced to a diversion program, which some consider a free pass as a punishment for bullying a classmate on Facebook, for which the initial charge was aggravated stalking of a minor. The two girls created a Facebook page intended to mock another student, putting up photo shopped pictures of her head on nude women’s bodies, complete with inappropriate comments. The page had attracted 181 friends. According to the State Attorney’s spokewoman Samantha Syoen in the article, “the media and public only have a portion of the facts and circumstances of this case. Based on the totality of the facts and circumstances of this case, this was the right resolution.”
Recently more adolescents have taken on to social networking sites. In my opinion adolescents are becoming too dependent on social networking sites. I constantly hear people talking about they have to get on Facebook to check something or are constantly going on Facebook from their phones just to see what other people are doing. They are spending entirely too much time on these networking sites. I have had friends meet people from other schools on these sites but never form a relationship aside from these sites, so they are constantly on the sites talking to the people they met and it takes away from having normal relationships. People also go on Facebook to literally just see what other people are doing. A lot of times people go on to see what a girlfriend/boyfriend are doing and often times they do not like what they see and hurts their relationship because people misuse it. Also adolescents are not being careful with what they do on these sites. Most adolescents take surveys about themselves and then post it on their walls for everyone to see therefore they are losing their privacy because even if you are not friend with someone, someone else might be and they can show what you have said. So social networking becomes a dangerous place if you do not be careful.
I was looking online if I could find studies or articles refers a children harassing to their parent in Facebook but I was surprise when I found many pieces of writing related to how the children are irritating online by their own parents.Many kids are afraid to accepting a friend request from Mom. My daughter accepted me only when she had more than 400 friends. They do not want to be invading for their parents and in many cases tormenting by them. There's even a Web site, http://www.myparentsjoinedfacebook.com, where people post screen views of their parents' most embarrassing posts. Recently, these included one mother telling her daughter to stop drinking sodas because she had cavities, another mother requesting "intervention should she ever wear twill, tapered-leg, butt less mom jeans," and the results of one stepfather's "Which sex position fits you best?" quiz.
That the controversy: Must the parent invade their children privacy looking for a safety life for them or taking the risk to humiliate them having access to their children's entire virtual social life. Some parents do not understand what really is happen and how their “no bad comments” ‘affect to their children.
Being online friend with our children may be funny at the beginning but we have to be extremely careful to not make them feel shameful in front their others online friends.
I was looking online if I could find studies or articles refers a children harassing to their parent in Facebook but I was surprise when I found many pieces of writing related to how the children are irritating online by their own parents.Many kids are afraid to accepting a friend request from Mom. My daughter accepted me only when she had more than 400 friends. They do not want to be invading for their parents and in many cases tormenting by them. There's even a Web site, http://www.myparentsjoinedfacebook.com, where people post screen views of their parents' most embarrassing posts. Recently, these included one mother telling her daughter to stop drinking sodas because she had cavities, another mother requesting "intervention should she ever wear twill, tapered-leg, butt less mom jeans," and the results of one stepfather's "Which sex position fits you best?" quiz.
That the controversy: Must the parent invade their children privacy looking for a safety life for them or taking the risk to humiliate them having access to their children's entire virtual social life. Some parents do not understand what really is happen and how their “no bad comments” ‘affect to their children.
Being online friend with our children may be funny at the beginning but we have to be extremely careful to not make them feel shameful in front their others online friends.